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Friday, January 21, 2011

You're right, she doesn't look like me...

Its so weird, I have had 2 separate people ask me last week if it bothers me that my kids don't look like me. You know, the fact that, since they are adopted...we don't share common features. One friend pointed out that "it must be hard to not find a little bit of yourself in your children."

In all honesty, I told her, "No? Not really" Because it has never bothered me. It really hasn't. But, since she mentioned it... I did start to notice how much my friends' children look like them and have similar features and personality traits. And, maybe, just a little, I feel a little jealous when I see my adorable nephew look JUST LIKE HIS Daddy. The smile and expressions. How fun! That must feel good? To have a mini-me...to have that common bond...an opportunity to say, "that looks just like...".

But - its ok. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it isn't important. Its more of a gee-whiz kind of thing. And the more I thought about that, the more I realized that...Nature or nurture...my kids and I do share a common bond. A spiritual bond if not a physical bond. Kayley, for sure, has picked up so many of my habits and mannerisms that she is BY FAR her Mommy's daughter.

So, when the 2nd person asked a similar question last week I answered, "You're right, she doesn't look like me...but she sure ACTS a lot like me! (Heaven help us all!).

7 comments:

  1. Silly people...our kids do take on our traits, the good and the bad :) Our 5 year old is a smart aleck, I think I can take a little credit for that!

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  2. I get that from one of my friends..She always says "don't you just wish she looked a lil like your family"..Have you seen us? Heck no..lol jk..but really I never think about it until like you do when someone brings it up.

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  3. If you think about it, genetics don't guarantee a child who looks like you, either, and there's nothing wrong with that!

    I'm one of four children, and not one of us looks even the tiniest bit like our mother. I am not exaggerating. Aside from being short, I seem to have inherited absolutely nothing from my mother. I asked her once if it bothered her that none of her children look like her. She told me that it didn't, because we all looked like my dad, and she loved him, and she liked seeing someone she loved in each of us.

    I think there's a parallel there. Your girls might not resemble you physically, but they look like two women you love, their birth mothers. Besides, your girls are both absolutely adorable. How could that bother you? :)

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  4. Heaven help us? Whatever - you're awesome - I hope they act every bit like you!!

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  5. Good grief, funny how we all; regardless of race, color, creed, national origin, or belief look nearly exactly the same on the inside and that my child is where it matters most.

    Sometimes looking like your father is not all it is cracked up to be.....

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  6. Ummm, just thought I would point out that you have a mother-in-law who has four kids that look and act nothing like her. Just sayin'.:)

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  7. Sometimes looking to much alike is a bad thing too. Mine are all pretty much carbon copies of my side of the Family(Only my oldest resembles His Dad at all). My boys are forever being known as the others brother.... They hate it.

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